Humm....Yep

    I am starting this off with Hummm....Yea Hummm...I am having just that type of day.  I had a vivid really dream the other night about my dad. I have not had a dream like that for years. I heard his voice and I felt his touch it was so real. I was talking to him just like he knew everything that was going on. I really needed that but at the same time it has made me really miss him even more. Robert was talking to him right before I came up. I hope whatever he was telling him Robert got it. I didn't get to hear it but Robert disappeared the moment I came up.I longed to talk to him. It made me also miss Robert more. Dad just was joking around having a good time. I miss that smile. I miss the hugs. Most of all I miss the talks we use to have. The moment I woke up it was like I wanted cry. He wasn't there. I wasn't where I was at in my dream. Ever since the moment I woke up I REALLY miss my dad and Robert. 

    One of these days I really hope that Robert and I can get that relationship back together. Where we use to be. We could tell each other everything and anything. We never kept secrets. I had Robert when I was 17 years old. We grew up together and now we are so separated. It really hurts my heart. I just don't understand what happened. What made us grow apart like we are now. 

    I am the type of person that does not like to argue. I don't like confrontation. I don't like yelling. That was due to my past. I will avoid it at all cost if I have to. Now that I am getting older I have noticed it has been different. I am starting to get a backbone. I still don't like fighting, arguing, and yelling. That gives me PTSD but I am trying to stand up more for myself. I hope eventually it won't bother me as bad. 

    Well off for the evening....